that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
