Buhtt sex?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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