So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
