I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
