im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
