From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And then he peed in my hair
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