OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
