Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
