Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
