I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize