im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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