HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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