He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
