i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
