we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
