Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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