ya dads aren't the best wingmen
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
