Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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