im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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