You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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