Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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