is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
did you just send me my own nude
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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