a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
