Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
