Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
