Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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