dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
