I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
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