eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
