I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
