Apparently you make a good broom.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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