Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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