hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
