you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
