Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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