If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
