I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
