Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
