It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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