i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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