their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
