So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ugly people sure do ruin things
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
