As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
