Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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