Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize