I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Green mimosas i think yes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
