We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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