bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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