Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
