Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
