too bad you live with your parents still
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
