I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
