just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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