You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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