your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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