Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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