You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
