every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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