I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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