hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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