wat bout pragnant strippers??
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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