He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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