windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
