Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
