Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
