Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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