Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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