I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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